Silenced Cries

“You are a man; men don't cry.” the society dictates. We live in a world where individuals of all genders and ages are instructed not to express their emotions through tears, as this is recognized as a sign of strength. Strength is often defined by the ability to control tears and cries. Many men and women suffering in anguish and sorrow are overshadowed by society's rigid definition of strength and manhood. It is deeply concerning that numerous lives are engulfed in pain, solely due to the society's restrictive narratives.

Young children are often told not to cry because they are "big" and expected to be strong. These societal narratives prevent children from fully embracing their childhood and expressing their emotions freely through cries and tears. These natural expressions of emotion serve as a powerful force for children to experience and enjoy their childhood. Yet, the prevailing societal pressures of "growing up" and the prevalence of technology in children's lives at an early age hold back their ability to freely express themselves.

We live in a society where one is ashamed to seek help from others, a society where one is expected to provide for themselves even when they are helpless. Many underprivileged people are silenced and prevented from voicing out their needs and concerns because of the limiting narratives and expectations of the community. If somebody is perceived as weak, they are often dismissed as having no hope for the future. Similarly, if someone comes from a poor family background, the society tends to treat them as an object of pity or judgment, rather than recognizing their inherent dignity and potential.

Bartimaeus, a blind middle-aged man in the Scriptures, was told to be silent because of his perceived weakness. As a person with a disability, he was viewed as an object of judgment, even by the disciples. Despite being blind, he was expected to manage his condition and secure his livelihood because of his growing age. His cries amidst the crowd were considered a shame, as he was seen as a nobody in that context. According to the people, he was weak and hopeless. His cries to Jesus were even more irritating for the followers, as the prevailing narrative was that he should not be there, shouting in that manner. They wanted to silence him. (Mk 10:46-52)

There are many people today who yearn to cry out and seek mercy. Many men are wrestling with deep anguish, and many women are burdened by sorrow, yet societal narratives of strength and resilience restrict them from expressing their true feelings. Many men, including married ones, are lost and in need of help, but the expectation to live independently only compounds their struggles. The societal expectations of masculinity weigh heavily on men, contributing to their mental health challenges. Many men endure domestic violence, yet remain silent due to shame, social stigma, and societal skepticism.

Likewise, many women are sorrowful about their lives. Countless women suffer domestic abuse, but their voices are silenced by the restrictive narratives surrounding their choice of partners. Prejudice against women denies them the freedom to express themselves fully. Many women face harassment in workplaces and public spaces, but their cries for help are often unheeded due to the narratives of objectification. Traditional femininity and underestimated gender roles also contribute to the silencing of women's sufferings.

Young men and women are often silenced by society due to their age and perceptions of limited experience. Yet, many young, abled individuals can contribute to society in profound ways, frequently outperforming adults who are considered leaders and elders. However, they are disregarded simply because they have not lived as long. Young people passionately advocate for advancements in community living and infrastructure, but their voices are disregarded. This is due to rigid narratives that emphasize respecting elders and older individuals for their experience, even when many of them no longer have a significant impact on society.

On the other hand, many young men and women feel lost, uncertain of where they are and where they are headed. They wander through life without a clear sense of meaning or purpose, often struggling with mental breakdowns and silent suffering. Yet, the common narrative of youth as a carefree, happy stage in life prevents them from sharing their true feelings, leading to depression and unwanted outcomes. Societal expectations—the pressure to contribute to both family and community—further hinder them from expressing their struggles and vulnerabilities.

Bartimaeus did not stop crying out because of the people around him; instead, he called out even louder, and Jesus heard him. The attitudes of the crowd did not hinder Bartimaeus—he knew to whom he was crying. Even when others tried to silence him, his louder cries brought him to Jesus, who granted him his sight. Unlike the restrictive narratives of society, Jesus responded with mercy and compassion. God does not value society's judgments; rather, He cares for the heart of one who cries out to Him.

God does not discourage anyone from expressing themselves. He is a God who expresses Himself freely and wants us to do the same. The psalmist often speak of crying out to the Lord and being heard (Ps. 18:6; 57:2; 107:19). Such cries reflect a genuine heart seeking God, for only in breaking down can one pour out their true self (Ps. 34:6). Crying in desperation is never a pretence. Even Jesus Himself wept—over His own struggles, His disciples, and the world (Lk. 19:41; Jn. 10:35; Jn. 16). It is a true expression of the heart.

It is essential to recognize that our cries for help should never be limited by society’s narratives. The voices around us need not be restrictive barriers to freely expressing our needs, at least not before God. We should foster an environment where feelings and sufferings can be expressed openly and without fear of prejudice or judgment.

In a world bound by restrictive societal narratives, the act of crying—a natural expression of vulnerability and emotional release—remains stigmatized. The example of Bartimaeus, who persisted in his cries despite being silenced, serves as a powerful reminder that genuine cries for help should never be ignored or suppressed. God does not judge individuals for their expressions of pain; rather, He embraces those who cry out in earnestness. 

True strength lies not in bottling emotions but in allowing oneself to be seen in moments of need. As we strive for a compassionate society, we must dismantle these limiting narratives and create spaces where individuals, regardless of gender, age, or background, feel safe to express their pain and seek solace. Recognizing the strength in vulnerability and validating each cry for help, we can foster a more understanding and empathetic society.